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More than 100 current and former heads of state, thousands of mourners, and Ted Cruz—the star of a new coloring book
gathered in Johannesburg this week to pay final tribute to Nelson Mandela.

I didn't listen to any of the eulogies, but from what I understand, Mandela wasn't a very accomplished figure.

I mean, he was certainly no Santa Claus.

Had Santa attended the memorial, no doubt, he would've put President Obama on his 'naughty' list—and not just because he's a Muslim.

The president's message of forgiveness and reconciliation—as demonstrated by his interactions with Hitler Raul Castro and the Danish Prime Minister—stood in stark contrast to everything Mandela believed in.

An apology is definitely in order.

Morning lineup:

Meet the Press: Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) and Sen. Patty Murray (D-WA); Former NSA/CIA Director Gen. Michael Hayden; Roundtable: Former New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson (D), Nancy Gibbs (TIME), Kathleen Parker (Washington Post) and Steve Inskeep (NPR).

Face the Nation: Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL); Sen. John McCain (R-AZ); Roundtable: Tom Friedman (New York Times), Jeffrey Goldberg (The Atlantic), Radhika Jones (TIME) and Clarissa Ward (CBS News).

This Week: Secretary of State John Kerry; Andrea Elliot (New York Times); Roundtable Cokie Roberts, Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich; Former Labor Secretary Robert Reich and Republican Strategist Ana Navarro.

Fox News Sunday: Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI); Gabby Giffords' Husband/Former Astronaut Capt. Mark Kelly; Larry Pratt (Gun Owners of America); Roundtable: Brit Hume (Fox News), Julie Pace (Associated Press), Bill Kristol (Weekly Standard) and Bob Woodward (Washington Post).

State of the Union: Sen. John McCain (R-AZ); Former OMB Director Peter Orszag; Former OMB Director Doug Holtz-Eakin; Rana Foroohar (TIME); Roundtable: Dana Milbank (Washington Post), Amy Walter (Cook Political Report) and Ramesh Ponnuru (National Review).

Evening lineup:
60 Minutes will feature: interviews with NSA officials regarding a possible deal for Edward Snowden (preview); and, a report on the persecution of Egypt's Coptic Christians (preview).

On Comedy Central...

Jon Stewart weighed in on Fox News' dreams of a white Christmas.

The Daily Show

Monday: Saudi Film Director Haifaa Al Mansour

Tuesday: Founder of Blackwater USA Erik Prince

Wednesday: Actors Will Ferrell, Steve Carrell, David Koechner & Paul Rudd

Thursday: Actor Jonah Hill

And Stephen Colbert took sides in the "news" channel's war on the poor.

The Colbert Report

Monday: BuzzFeed CEO Jonah Peretti

Tuesday: "Alpha House"/"Doonesbury" Creator Garry Trudeau

Wednesday: Actor Keanu Reeves

Thursday: Actor Ben Stiller

Elsewhere...

Bryan Fischer of the American Family Association explained that the Founding Fathers intended for the First Amendment to be used as a weapon against Islam and Satanism.

"If by 'religion,'" Fischer said, "the founders, and the founders of the state of Oklahoma, meant Christianity, then you can ban a monument to Satan because that's not Christianity ... You can say 'no, we're not going to let you do it. Our Constitution protects the free exercise of the Christian religion; yours is not a Christian expression, we're not going to have that monument.'"

"If we don't understand the word 'religion' to mean Christianity as the founders intended it, then we have no way to stop Islam, we have no way to stop Satanism, we have no way to stop any other sort of sinister religion practice that might creep onto the fruited plains"

Meanwhile...

A secularized nativity scene in Florida caused some grievances.

A fake holiday popularized by Seinfeld has become the symbol of secular pushback against religious dominion over American public life. Or something like that.

The Wisconsin and Florida state capitols currently have Festivus poles on display. To the uninitiated, the Festivus pole is a key component in the celebration of Festivus, a bizarre and agonizing December 23 holiday made famous by "The Strike," a 1997 episode of the beloved NBC sitcom Seinfeld. Since the episode aired, the holiday has taken on a life of its own. House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Va.) has thrown Festivus fundraisers, for example. And at the Florida Capitol in Tallahassee on Wednesday, self-proclaimed "militant atheist" activist Chaz Stevens erected a 6-foot Festivus pole made out of empty Pabst Blue Ribbon beer cans in the state house rotunda in protest of the privately funded nativity scene at the capitol.

Harry Mihet, of the "religious liberty" law firm Liberty Counsel, called Stevens' views "extreme" and his display offensive. "Is this how PC we've gotten in our society, really?" Fox News host Gretchen Carlson said on Tuesday. "I am so outraged by this. Why do I have to drive around with my kids to look for nativity scenes and be like, 'Oh, yeah, kids, look. There's Baby Jesus behind the Festivus pole made out of beer cans!"

And, finally...

There's an option for people with religious objections to Obamacare. YMMV.

To join Medi-Share, members must pledge their Christian faith and promise not to drink, take drugs or have sex outside of a traditional marriage. A reference from a minister may also be requested. Certain pre-existing conditions render applicants ineligible, while chronic issues such as obesity sometimes lead to acceptance into the program contingent on undergoing wellness counseling.

The coverage doesn't include products of "un-Biblical lifestyles," such as contraception or substance rehab, or some preventive medicine, including colonoscopies and annual mammograms. Those policies lead to lower costs for all members, Meggs said. [...]

Sound good? The catch comes in the disclosure at the bottom of the website.

"Medi-Share is not insurance. It is a not-for-profit ministry and is not guaranteed in any way. Medi-Share is exempt from regulation."

Members of Medi-Share who forgo health insurance send in hundreds of dollars each month in exchange for no guarantee of anything and a service that isn't subject to regulation.

Sign me up!

- Trix

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