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After 20 months and 7 fruitless investigations, John Boehner finally quit acting like a woman and agreed to create a House select committee on Bengha$i.

Minority Democrats objected—demanding equal rights, as they are wont to do—but Boehner was all like, "Talk to the hand."

The hand, former prosecutor Trey Gowdy, promised to run a fair witch trial witch hunt... he promised there'll be no funny business in his kangaroo court.

His only goal, he assured Sean Hannity, is to expose the vast West Wing conspiracy to defeat Mitt Romney in a presidential debate, and thus, the election... or something.

Also, too... Lewinsky!

None of which is to say that anyone has been (formally) accused of any crimes (yet), or that impeachment is the end game—but it's fun to speculate, isn't it.

So, anyway, back to Bengha$i.

On Friday, with as much fanfare as the NFL draft (minus the homosexuality), Boehner announced the winners of the GOP's select committee beauty pageant; and the highly-photogenic group immediately got to work.

Meanwhile, Democrats continued to debate whether or not to boycott the committee; because they're scared—of Obamacare!

Morning lineup:

Meet The Press: Pre-empted by coverage of English Premier League soccer.

Face The Nation: Former Defense Secretary Robert Gates; Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA); Rep. Mike Rogers (R-MI); Roundtable: David Ignatius (Washington Post), Margaret Brennan (CBS News) and Michael Crowley (TIME).

This Week: Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel; Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL); Roundtable: Democratic Strategist Donna Brazile, Bill Kristol (Weekly Standard), Rep. Adam Kinzinger (R-IL) and Radio Host Michael Smerconish.

Fox News Sunday: Rep. Trey Gowdy (R-SC); Rep. Xavier Becerra (D-CA); Former U.S. Ambassador to Nigeria John Campbell; Malala Fund CEO Shiza Shahid; Roundtable: Brit Hume (Fox News), Julie Pace (Associated Press), George Will (Washington Post) and Juan Williams (Fox News).

State of the Union: Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D-FL); Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN); Former Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA); Roundtable: Democratic Strategist Hilary Rosen, Susan Page (USA Today) and Ramesh Ponnuru (National Review).

Evening lineup:
60 Minutes will feature a report on the use of funds donated to political action committees for things like personal trips and hiring family members (preview); a report on a hospital in Sudan which offers life-saving surgery for free (preview); and, a report on whether salmon farms are helping or hurting the wild salmon population (preview).

On Comedy Central...

Jon Stewart dug into the GOP's latest talking points about the Benghazi talking points.

The Daily Show

Monday: Author Martin Blaser

Tuesday: Author Ron Suskind

Wednesday: Band Blondie

Thursday: Actor Jim Parsons

And Stephen Colbert aimed his fire at the NRA and Georgia's new guns-anywhere law.

The Colbert Report

Monday: Glenn Greenwald (The Intercept)

Tuesday:  Musicians The Black Keys

Wednesday: Actress Keri Russell

Thursday: Thomas Friedman (New York Times)

Elsewhere...

Indicted Rep. Michael Grimm (R-NY) was made persona non grata at his old FBI stomping grounds.

Federal security personnel at the FBI's headquarters in Lower Manhattan and a satellite office in Kew Gardens, Queens, posted Grimm's photo inside their glass-enclosed stations in the event he showed up, sources said.

They were under orders to stop him and to immediately notify higher authorities on what further action to take, according to the sources.

"He is not permitted in our space," one source told "On The Inside."

"He is not welcome," a former top FBI official said.

Meanwhile...

Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX) used a hearing on the proposed Time Warner/Comcast merger to accuse Al Gore and Al Jazeera of conspiring to keep Glenn Beck off the air.

"Al Gore was pushing the sale of Current TV and Glenn Beck, the Blaze, were trying to buy it. And it was reported that Al Jazeera wanted to get their Sharia law push into the United States, and they were willing to pay big bucks regardless of whether they had oil and carbon all over the money. They were willing to pay big dollars but they wouldn't do the deal unless Comcast was willing to keep them in its list of networks provided.

So it was reported Comcast agreed, so Al Gore got all that oil and carbon based money. Then, that kept Glenn Beck off the air. Of Comcast."

And, in related news...

Christian reality TV stars are once again being persecuted for expressing biblical views.

Conservative Christians are urging HGTV to resume production of a new reality show featuring twin brothers who have made public statements against LGBT people, Muslims, and other groups. [...]

HGTV abruptly canceled the show Wednesday, shortly after Raw Story and other media outlets sought comment on the brothers and their past statements and actions – which are easily found in an Internet search. [...]

Faith Driven Consumer has asked like-minded social media users to use a hashtag campaign to pressure the cable network, owned by Scripps Networks Interactive, to #FlipThisDecision.

"This project has come to a screeching halt simply because the Benham brothers hold a biblical view of life and marriage," the advocacy group said in a statement. "This is pure intolerance, discrimination, and bullying toward those who hold to widely held and legitimate views. HGTV's rash actions hold no place in America's rainbow of diversity."

Christ, what an asshole!

- Trix

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